WOMEN WEEK!

this week is international women week, and to celebrate women of every size, shape, age and gender i am fully indulging in fashion that celebrates women. this is especially significant for me as this week is preceeding my rapidly upcoming sex change.

now. i realise this may come as a massive shock to all my dedicated followers. but the truth is, i love women, and womens clothes. but my one ambition has always been to become a drag queen. this is simply not possible with a minge and sumptuous bosom.

so, for my last week, i plan to be everything that i believe women are. sexy, beautiful, deceitful, lying, cheating, manipulative and pure.



these earrings are so femenine, when i wore them out i got so many adoring looks from men and women!



this ring is fun and sexy, my bf loves it it really turns him on! sometimes he takes it to the bathroom for ages. i dont know what he does with it there. admiring it i guess!




now, this bag is more convinient than anything but, i do still find convinience sexy! it is a wet bag, for used sanitary towels, so that you can take them home and wash them when you're done without any leakage.. genius! loving the print too.



these necklaces aren't that womanly but they do come in a range of skin tones and are very fashionable at the moment! they are made by possibly my fave designer at the moment, vulvaloves.




this bra just makes me feel good about myself when my bf and i fight. i like to feel as though someone wants me, when he pulls away to the other side of the matress when i reach out to touch him in the dark night. so i sneak out of bed, put this on in the dark and slip back into bed. he never knows.



sophistication is a key to womanhood. maturity and tradition are seen in this people's favourite barbie bangle. it represents how society has butchered the female form to turn her into a fashion accessory. also its pink! lol! cute! xxx



these hand knitted nipple covers in the form of pasties can be made to order for the size of your nip and come in various cookie shapes, aswell as the classic stars and sparkly black ones.




and finally this beautiful hand crafted tits scarf. it turns me on and is dead eye catching. and thats how i'll be celebrating woman week!

so tell me, how will you be celebrating woman week, and what do you think of these fab buys!?

xxxx bridie xxxx

it's prom o' clock.

summer is upon us. prom is upon us. bulimia nervosa is upon us.
me and jessie are excited as can be! well, when i say that. lady higgins does not have a date to the ball so she's staying home and eating her troubles instead. (invites welcome, low standards, 07890549337 - ask for lady jessminda of persia)
anyway. we know how GODDAMN hard it can be when your MOTHER FUCKING dress and then your MOTHER FUCKING shoes both go out of stock in quick succession but, never fear, your fairy gokmother is here.



lol.

anyway. so. the fact of the matter is. we've put together some emergency outfits for anyone who might have this unfortunate and extremely fucking stressful ordeal to put up with. we are here to ease your burden and possibly take a whack at it as we say here in wales (its welsh rhyming slang for get into yo panties)

so. roll em up outfit number one is specially designed for your local chav or common whore.



this is a fake tan thats been brought out by the drinks company Tango, a kind of play on the fact that when people are dead orange cruel passers by such as my dear boyfriend say 'someone's been tangoed'. i think it looks well sexy but i think you can have too much of a good thing? so i personally like to patch apply it ie only in key regions such as my armpits and minge.



these earrings are sexy and can double as swings for tiny men! LOLOLOLOLOL PMSL LOLTTPM (lol to the pepsi max. something you wouldn't understand if you've not been to blackpool lol reppin ma hoome toon!!)



this hair style suits everyone even men which is why i've put it on here.



this dress is eye catching and classy and goes with orange really well.

and if you're preggers, this is the one!!





and those are the instant classic shoes from karen millen.

and that's the look! come back tomorrow for your next sexy installment!

love bridiexxx

sunny side up

on the upside. looks like megan fox has been a NAUGHTY GURL and had sum plastic surgerery.

this makes me and marco feel like we have a more of a chance of getting lucky on the male market, bouncing back after the heartbreak of he who shall not be named, we've been out and about spying with our four little eyes some boootayyyyy!



to demonstrate our penchant for the older gentleman, we got these guys to subtley pose for a picture for a small reward. what you can't see from this picture (without looking very closely indeed) is that all of these men are in fact being anally penetrated at the time of taking.



i think this picture is easy enough to figure out with average or in fact below powers of deduction. however for those of you sadly suffering from mental retardation, it is of two guyz making owt u guyz seriously what more cud u want?



because me and marco q. obviously swing both ways, this picture is here to illustrate our love of minge, and in particular that crowned with a ginger muff. mmmm. tasty.

that is all, apart from our obvious buy of the week... DRUMROLL EVERYONEEEEEEEEE...
dumduimdumdudmdudmudmdumdudmdudmdudmdumdudmdudmdudmdumdudmdudm
TAH DAH!



we love these beacuse:
they are black, which is versatile and flattering (except on the runways), they can be accessorised with socks (which contrary to popular belief actually looks great if you do it well (see below)) or an ankle bracelet or some fab nail polish!

over and out, peace and love and empathy - bridie xxxxxxxxxxxx

p.s /

... TOLD YOU!!!!!

desperate times, desperate measures.

i found out some truly awful news this week. i will explain it to you in the only way i know how. through the medium of poasion. thats what happens when poetry and fashion collide.

lies deciet and treachery
like black on the runway, its deathly
i feel betrayed my heart is slayed
like a record (right round baby right round)
i've been played.
i saw him across the room,
his look was classy yet urban
i was drawn in by his beaded beard
his dark skin, his funky turban
he took me by the hand (actually the hair)
and said 'listen sugar tits,
you sit ryt der'
he told me all about his religion and his tournaments
i was totally blown away, took him back to my apartament
i got down on my knees, and he got down on one of his
we made plans all night long, even named our kids
and then on wednesday, full of woe
he packed his bags, said 'a got to goe'
turns out he's married, got a wife called musaflar
he's not a sikh, it was a wig..

he's not even a wrestler.

missed yooh guyzz.

hello fashion friends, it's me jezz. i am so sorry i haven't posted for a few dayzz, been on a dirty weekend in rochdale, you know how it is!!!!! so yes, this weekend wasn't dirty in that sense guys, calm down (saucyyy) it was for my duke of Edinburgh award. soooo savvvvvyyy. but yes, my group and i were clearly the best on the whole scheme we only got lost for four hours on the moors. no biggeh, while i was away i missed my twin so much, she wasn't there to help me pick my outfits or do my hair or shave my legs. it's so distressing!!!!!!!! but yes, i have to admit my clothes cretins i had such an interesting weekend mixing and matching my outfits, i felt like david attenborough i did!!!!! but yes, all in all it was a splendid weekend and i will miss my woodland woman muchlyyy. i am so happy to be back in manic Manchester and i cannot wait to get back into blogging. Also guys, i woudl like to bring up my colour of the week, burgundy. fuck it's imaginative and bruilliant and any other fabulous adjectives you can come up with. BURGUNDY is the new BLACKKK. i hate black, i cannot stand black on the runways. back to burgundy, it goes with anything laydezzz, get them burgundy loafers on because it's summer in reeeeeddddd. yes please dorothy (red shoes).
yours beautifully forever...
JEZZZZZ
mWaH <3 xxxx

me accessorizing in the wild, you know me hehehee <3 xxx

fashoin icons

right so this week FHM have released the 100 sexiest women list and me and jezz were totally gutted not to be on it. however, there are some totally beautiful women on it who are great fashion icons to us. there are also some right skanks but we'll just ignore that for the moment.

we've also spied with out little eyes some really cute clothes recently. so in true chuckle brothers fashoin here's the latest and greatest from ME to YOU (LOLOLOL LMAO PMSL)

so, FHM's top five pretty laydeez are here in order from 1st to 5th... smokin.

in first place is the slightly obvious but nonetheless deserved CHERYL COLE.

whatta babe. here sporting a ruffled pink and white striped blouse teamed with a crucifix choker. SEXY.

next up is the stunning megan fox. here seen dressed as a sort of sexy dinner lady, she truly deserves this spot thanks to her great personality, figure, face and hair. or it might be her regular appearances on the big screen in the nuuuuude with other laydeez. ye. actually. thats it.

then some random girl off ugly betty. who cares.

then.. FRANKIE from the saturdays. whaaat the fuck. so okay, granted. this picture is from when she was like, twelve but she's probably only a bit older than that now and the others are waaay fitter. even that one that looks like a horse. you know the one i mean. anywayyy. she can look fit. sometimes. but there's no need to rub salt in the dougie wound.

then some other random girl with nice boobs. cba to find an ugly picture of her.

ANYWAY. away from that. here's my picks of the month from my fave online clothes store... forever 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

these funky yellow boat shoes are a favourite of Sakhinbars, so i wear them for him when we make love.

this cardi is totally cute and really flattering. it makes thin people AND fat people look morbidly obese! buy it now or regret it l8rrrrrrrrrr!!!!

camoflage is SO this season. it really brings out the eco warrior in me

too. save the planet!

as we know, my dog marco

simply ADORES maxi dresses, so i'm buying this to live his dream.

and my personal favouriteeeeeeeeee...

WOOHOOO!!!!!!! bring back hippiessssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxox peace outt love bridie + marco xxxxxxxxxx

bridie, sakhinbar and the big white wedding!

omg you guys. no time to waste. i have just had THE most amazing day with a capital A for amazing. omg. i was at this christening lol and all the babies were in these white gowns.. they were more than i could ever have hoped they would be. i was dreamily gazing at their beauty when out of the corner of my eye i saw the most amazing guy. not only did he look JUST like my crush of the month Paul E Normous the gorg wrestler, he also seemed to be pretty keen on me! so the combination of those babies making me broody, those gorg gowns and the mr. normous look-a-like.. made me think of WEDDING DRESSES. so guess what i did.. i waltzed over and said to that sexy beast.. 'give me your number or i'll break your legs' cos i guessed that was the kind of thing that paul would like being a wrestler and everything, and he was like 'woah woah pretty lady why dont you sit on my lap and we can negotiate this in a civil way?' and at first i thought paul was testing me and i had to punch him in the face or something, but then i realised that he wasn't actually paul, his name was Sakhinbar and he wanted me in his lap. so i did and guess what i found out.. he IS A WRESTLER OMG. so after we got removed by the priests for fucking in the aisles, i was like, so when are we getting married then? and he was like, how about wednesday? and i said that wouldn't work because i had an appointment with a tree surgeon and he said he had a very important domino match on thursday but then i kicked him in the face and was like thats not good enough cancel it you pathetic bitch and so he has and its thursday ALL ARE INVITED WOOHOO!!!!!

xxxxxxxxx BRIDIE xxxxxxxxxxxxx

the lovely sakhinbar :')

to see him wrestling in action

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMoT9KKRKmg&feature=player_embedded#!

^ check him outtttt!

also, you guys thoughts on this wedding dress?

summa luvin.

so, hey again i know this is our third post of the day but we're getting a little wrest-less. HAHAHAHALOLOLOLOLOLMAOLMAO. this post is about us laydeez hating on the people that are jumping on the wrestling bandwagon, i mean seriously guys we have always shown our love for men in masks. lolol bridie hates masks but loves what's underneath them LOLOLOL. anyway, we think you should take a look at our crush of the month. this is Paul E Normous. he seems to be quite the all rounder, he hates black on the runways just as we do, he hates carky chimps and his favourite film is also Alice in wonderland ( he loves the style) we would love to see what's under THAT hat. swoooooon.

sexy ladies hit H&M

so yeah, my twin and i recently took a special trip to H&M, we decided to go on an economy drive and couldn't bring ourselves to go to primark., that would be silly and reckless. i was looking for something sexy and short for my new dance production, choreographed and produced by myself fyi, i am also the main star of he show i play a dancing beaver with no friends but the minute she shows everyone her fox trot manages to become the biggest whore of cloud nine town/city/province. i felt very nasty not involving my identical twin so i decided to make her a dancing dog, named brucey. she is a bit uncoordinated but i will whip it out of her. anyway, back to the shopping trip of our lifetimes. we were in H&M just chilling and what not when we spotted a dress that made us headgasm (head + orgasm = a headgasm) it means we loved it btw. so we went crazy and tried it on and danced in it to see if we could do the splits and shit without ripping it.


Then to our horror we realised it was a copy of something on the catwalks, fucking disgusting i tell you. i had to rip it from my body and burn it immediately. iw ill not have H&M copying our favourite designer Herve Ledger. NEVERRRR. disgusting, i feel sick thinking about it. so yes, we stromed out of the shop in fits of tears and decided to drown our sorrows in chocolate milshake, off we headed to macdonalds for a slap up meal of...everythign on the menu. you know us, the fat shits of the blog world. laterz, from your fav cheeky laydeeezz/ fat useless suicidal manic idiots.

.

lets get it started in here!

hey everyone. we are identical twins bridie and jessica and this is our fashion blog bridie-jessica! lets get it started!

despite being identical, we have very different styles. jessica is a sexy 25yr old hip-hop star from detroit and bridie is a classically trained dog-whisperer from las-vegas who grew up in blackpool... although we tend to agree they are basically the same thing lol.

Q: so what's the difference guys?


A: jess loves to try out funky new styles and bridie loves to get her tits out lol.

so, some more about ourselves and this blog.

!!JESSICA TIME!!

h3y homies. my name is jessica, but you can call me jess, jezz, or 'queen hip hop' to those down at the dance studio! lol big shout out to you guys. anyone who knows my name will know i am just a groovy girl with big dance moves that are dam hard to grasp. growing up with an identical twin its sometimes hard to know yourself. the only two times i ever knew who i was grewing up was when i was popping shapes on the dance floor and engorging my face in a fash-mag. so since i've already opened up my own dance studio and am a part time arr and bee dee jay (lol) there's only one thing left to do.. start my own fash blog! woohoo! and who better to do it with than my other half and all round partner in crime.. bridie! love you babes x

^ me in action ^

over and out faithful followers!

%%bridie time%%

hey dudes! i'm just sat here chilling and eating chinese food with my dog marco (so named because of her love of the minty sweets POLOS LMAO LOLOLOLOL PMSL) she is my style icon. she always tells me what she wants to wear although sometimes she cant wear exactly what she wants like right now maxi dresses are coming into fashion.. she loves em!!! but she's too small!!!! LOLOLOLOL. poor marco. so about me.. my fave films are anything weird.. most recently alice in wonderland. its what i imagine it would be like to be on drugs.. but i don't know because i'm too scared to try them. other than doing drugs i'm also scared of needles and wolves and masks. weird but true. anyway marco that little bitch has just pissed on the bed so i'm going to clean that up and then go to bed. it's only half six but they turn the street lights on at about half seven and i HATE street lights since i grew up in blackpool and las vegas it just makes me and marco sick.

peace out dudes xxxxxxxxxx

< MARCO IN A POLO LOLOLOL LMAO PMSL LOLOLOL